Bring back hanging

Web MonkeyToys


Well as my motto goes, first things first. At Oulton some light fingered little ****** nicked my ******* push bike. I don’t own much in this life: a toolbox, a 1972 saab and four pushbikes. So when some **** goes and nicks something that I’ve worked ******* hard for it makes my blood boil. So I got stuck in, told the coppers, told the security and went on the hunt, no joy though. Maybe a good job. If I’d have found the little ********, they’d have been locking me up for murder.


Two hours went by and I got a call from the Old Bill telling me they’ve found a lad putting loads of bikes in the back of a van and would I come to identify if one was mine. Well there she was, not a mark besides the dust from the fingerprinting squad, and they got the little ******* –  a one-armed scouser! You couldnt make it up. Six bikes he’d nicked as well, all from the pits. I had to say sorry to the coppers. I was on the rev limiter at ’em, telling them I pay their wages and to search every van coming out of the place. I’m sure I sounded a proper idiot, but I work hard for the stuff I’ve got, and when someone thinks they can take stuff, it really gets my goat. So a massive thanks to the Cheshire coppers, a mega job done by all. Oh and sorry again for revving out.


Mint, she’ll not be going to any race meetings again. Why would someone want to come to a motorbike meeting to nick peoples’ stuff? Bring back hanging, or maybe a public bumming would put some put some manners in the little ****. Sorry about the language but there isn’t a proper translation for *******, **** and ****, is there?